“Stick with the winners, and you’ll always win.”
-My late Paternal Grandmother, Margaret Riley
My Grandmother was an anonymous legend of sorts.
Some day, I hope to write a recovery book, that is part biography of my Grandmother’s life. She passed away at 89 years old in 2011; She had celebrated her 48th year of sobriety six months prior to her death. A few years before the founder, leader, and AA guru Bill W. passed away, my Grandmother went to a convention in New York, and it was there she met and talked with Mr. Wilson himself. She also sponsored countless numbers of women, and even some men, in her time with the program. Her philosophy was simple, and though she was just as flawed as anybody else, she meant well, and the good she did for other alcoholics and drug addicts is the legacy she left behind. No doubt there were lives saved because of her work. I strayed from the 12-step model shortly after my grandmother passed. I don’t want to go into the reasons why, and I’m certainly not judging what anybody else does to stay sober, so long as it isn’t pushed on me as the one and only way to get and stay clean.
I had an epiphany a little while ago, when I decided I was going to spontaneously email somebody who is a fat, queer activist, sex worker, and successful feminist pornographer. I wanted to pick her brain, but I got shy, and deleted the draft before I hit “send”. I saved everything I wrote, because some of it would actually make better material for a blog post!
I realized that if I don’t take a chance and email this person that could potentially help me, I’ll never know whether or not that person would have responded in the first place. So in a little while, I’m going to edit that email and send it.
So how does the quote above apply to this situation? Basically, what I’m trying to say is that if I want to emulate other people, or would like to fight alongside them for a common cause, I need to fearlessly approach those “winners” as though I’m already one of them. Because I am!
This reminds me of another quote, “fake it til you make it.” I don’t feel like I’m faking anything anymore. I’m making it. There’s no other way!